Shave Your Legs

Every woman has those days where she looks at herself in the mirror and thinks "What happened?" The past few days have been like that for me. In fact, unless I was going some where, I really haven't taken off my sweatpants.

Part of it probably has to do with the whirlwind of coming home, and then Joe came home right after that, and trying to keep up with the laundry and dishes, that I haven't had to do in almost a month. It always works out that the house is perfect and all the dishes and laundry is all done, and then as soon as my husband gets home, it's like he's forgotten every thing he's learned living here. Let me just say that we have SIX laundry baskets in our house! I have them divided into our colors, whites, Joli's clothes, towels, and then two for clean clothes that come out of the dryer. Now I have given up on trying to get Joe to put the appropriate clothing in the appropriate basket, and have mentioned several times that if he just gets them into a basket, I will be happy. He had it together before he left, but it's like potty training a two-year-old, never ending. So he came home with a months worth of dirty clothes and while he did wash some of them, he piled the rest of them in front on the laundry room door, completely forgetting that if he would have opened the door, he could have put them into any one of the three baskets on the other side. Apparently there's a hidden force field I did not know about. I suppose I will eventually get him back to where he was when he left, right before the next trip most likely.

The other part of my new found laziness, is because I'm tired. I haven't slept more than a two hour period in over eleven months, and it doesn't look like I'm going to any time soon. Although I had expected this as I was dreaming of my perfect, amazingly well behaved child through out my pregnancy; to actually experience it is on a whole new level. It's much like giving birth, it doesn't matter how much people tell you about, you won't understand until you're ten centimeters and crowning. So I mention this deep desire for sleep to my husband, yet when he is already awake in the morning, and I'm still trying to sleep, I still have to get up when Joli does. I mean I wouldn't want him to have to get off the computer to take care of his own child or anything.

So after a few days of looking like I forgot where the shower was (I didn't I swear), I started thinking "well maybe I could shave my legs, and do my hair and makeup, and look all hot today!" Then I started getting a little philosophical, and wondered "why do women do this to themselves?" I started thinking about all hard work it would take to carefully choreograph my shower with Joli's nap time, and then blow dry and curl my hair before and without waking her up, and hopefully finishing my makeup too. I would of course have to have my clothes picked out ahead of time, because that would take too much time and might wake her up. And I should probably shave before she goes down for her nap so I'll be sure to have plenty of time. Now at this point I'm thinking "what is wrong with me?" I know now that even after I go through this huge production of making myself "hot", I'm still going to have a husband who most likely won't notice, and a child who will wipe her snot on it whether it's nice or not. So then I have to begin asking myself, is it really worth it? What starts out as my small attempt to make myself feel better, turns into a lot more work for me, and actually makes me feel worse. At this point I'm looking hot, but my child is still screaming because the evil floor monster is touching her precious feet again, and my husband's hearing no longer exists because of the amazing screen in front of his nose.

So when it comes down to it, I'm just going to have to say...
No thank you, I'll wear my sweats today!