What Is This Brick Wall I Keep Banging My Head On?

I've had several comments in the past few days about how Joli is almost two and will be soon going into the terrible twos. I find this slightly amusing only because these lovely people do not spend their days with us. I would like to tell these well-wishers that if two was the magic number of which my child would begin to spiral down to the fourth level of hell, then she would have turned two about two months, thirteen days, three hours, and twenty-nine minutes ago.
This is what comes out of Joli's bedroom everyday after naptime. I cannot understand it. If I had the opportunity to lay in bed and sleep half the day away I would be on a happy little cloud labeled "Number Nine". However, Joli still comes out of her room usually looking like this but at a much higher octave. Today she came out and after she had a good fifteen minute cry, began asking for dinner. Okay it's after 5:00pm, why not. So I'm holding her on the couch and our conversation is as follows:

Me: "You would like some dinner? Okay would you like a sandwich?"

Joli: "Sanditch."

Me: "Would you like cheese or turkey on your sandwich?"

Joli: "Sanditch!"

Me: "Okay I will make you a sandwhich, I just want to know if you want me to put turkey or cheese on it?"

Joli (now breaking down into tears): "Sanditch!!!!"

Me: "Okay I'm going to go make you a sandwich. You sit here with your blankie and watch pooh while I do that."

Joli (clinging to me for dear life): "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "I can't hold you while I'm cooking, do you want me to make you a sandwich or sit with you?"

Joli: "No."

Me: "Look kid, it's not really a yes or no answer, do you want me to make you a sandwich?"

Joli: "Sanditch"

Me: "Okay then I need to get up"

Joli: "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Me (as I'm standing up): "I'm sorry babe, my magical powers haven't quite reached the level of being able to duplicate myself, but I'll begin working on that right after I make your sandwich."

Then a large hole began to open up in the middle of my living room floor, of which Joli was immediately sucked towards, which of course meant that she had to kick, scream, and claw at the floor to avoid it, but ultimately was taken over by the demons anyway, which made her morf into a ten foot tall red guy with horns, that could reach a level of sound that pierced my ears and caused Kota to erupt into a loud barking frenzy, until eventually I was left standing on the single piece of wood that used to be our home, and all that was left of the planet surrounding me was ash and smoke.

Well at least that's how it happened in my mind.