Communication

Well I have come to a sudden realization today. My child and I have horrible communication. I have discovered that what I am saying and what she is hearing is entirely different. Examples:

I say: "I'm going to get you another spoon."
She hears: "I'm leaving you forever, you must survive on your own."

I say: "I'm going to change your diaper."
She hears: "I'm going to remove you right leg."

I say: "It's time for a nap."
She hears: "You will sleep for twenty years, only to be awaken by loves first kiss."
I say: "Would you like some booby?"
She hears: "If you do not get my breast into your mouth in next five seconds, you will not survive."

And last but not least:
I say: "Let's go get in the car."
She hears: "You will be strapped into the electric chair."


She's also decided that clothes are the root of all evil.